Not bad; remember you're not working with the same limitations I am, though. The original didn't have any percussion in it because I just couldn't fit the instruments into 4 channels. I'm wondering how this would sound with kicks and hats and stuff and a beefier synth lead, instead of just slapping the fruity phazer on it.
Also, the panning could use a lot more variation. You don't usually want all your sounds to come out of one side because it makes the track feel unbalanced.